


The Journal of The Insomniac's Helper

by gustin_puckerman



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-03
Updated: 2018-01-05
Packaged: 2018-05-11 10:55:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5624470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gustin_puckerman/pseuds/gustin_puckerman
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shikamaru and Sakura reluctantly learns to gradually take care of each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. warning sign

 

 

> I'll use you as a warning sign , that if you talk enough sense then you'll lose your mind ,  
>     And I'll use you as a focal point , so I don't lose sight of what I want.

— _I Found_ by Amber Run.

* * *

 

“Sakura.” He says, trying not to sound too tired even though on the inside, he sorta is. No sane person would ever want to stand out in the cold dead night at the edge of his family’s forest staring at the moon, after all. He wonders what’s wrong with her — because if it wasn’t for _her_ trespassing into the land, thus alerting the doe, who’ve alerted Shikamaru in respond when he was trying to smoke ... they wouldn’t be here. But, of course, he doesn’t ask. Not yet anyway. Not if he can still avoid it.

He doesn’t nudge her. “Go home.”

She blinks back at the moon and for a moment, he thinks she doesn’t hear him, before she shakes her head and wipes her eyes even though it’s dry. It’s obvious now that she’s not — you know — _okay_ , but Shikamaru’s still intent not to say anything; afraid, really, that he won’t say the correct thing.

“I’m being a bother, aren’t I?” She says so with a brittle laugh, the type that makes Shikamaru feels a little guilty and reconsiders if he’s being so harsh or rude to her right now, but he assures himself that it’s _her_ who is intruding on the moment, and as far as he’s concerned, while perhaps he seems careless, he isn’t the one to blame. He hadn’t been the one to _upset_ her; he’s just telling her what she should do.

Still, it doesn’t stop Shikamaru from reaching out and scratch on his cheek regretfully — a nervous tick he’s careful not to show during important distress — and peers his eyes away to the deers that are watching from behind the trees. “Er,” is what he chooses to say, before he sighs, giving up on the effort to say something reasonable. He asks instead, “Did you just finish your shift?”

“At the hospital? Yes.” She says with eyes so wide and green that Shikamaru has to take a moment because this is a new image of Sakura he’s never seen before — her, under a pale moonlight — and though he isn’t vocal about it, he is impressed by how quick her demeanour changes: she’s sad but reluctant of it for one moment, and then she’s focused, eyes sharp and animate as the subject of the hospital is brought up. Though that doesn’t last long when her shoulder sags a second after, like she’s hit by this wave of exhaustion he often would feel after a successful mission, and the smile on her lips look plastic. Looks worn. “Why? Does it really show?”

“No,” he lies, and he knows she knows it.

However, she doesn’t voice it out when her expression flicks to one that resolutes weary amusement, her lips curling in the way that insists she knows his secret but — _that’s okay, I’ll keep it_. Shikamaru doesn’t know why that makes him relaxes, but it strangely does. 

“You’ve been pulling triple shifts.”

“Ino told you?”

He contemplates lying again, but he settles with a shrug and pretends he doesn’t see her rolling her eyes at the obviousness of the situation. He looks at her and tries not to cringe at the darkness under her eyes. His lips twitch, eager for nicotine, but he doesn’t reach for his pocket. He tells himself he has more self control. He closes his eyes and tries focusing instead on the deers that are beginning to surround them. He wonders if Sakura notices them as well.

“You were out here to smoke, weren’t you?” She asks out of the blue and his lips involuntarily twitches again. He doesn’t open his eyes nor affirm her question. “That’s why you came out.”

“The deers signalled there’s an intruder instead.”

“They guard the forest.” She observes and Shikamaru coughs, but doesn’t forget to nod. He could feel her green eyes on him, so he doesn’t turn. “Why aren’t you smoking then?”

Irritation nips at his skin. “I don’t make a habit of smoking around you, Sakura. You’ll nag.” And she has, countless of times. Especially when she’s caught him sneaking to smoke around the hospital’s perimeter. He’s trained himself to put out cigarette fires around her faster than he’s trained himself to avoid Ino’s punches of disapproval every time he accidentally lets out a snide comment. It’s very troubling, if he were to be honest.

“I don’t nag!” She suddenly yelps, her anger resonating and something in Shikamaru sighs heavily. _Oh man_.

"Of course you don’t,” _There’s no winning with women_ , he convinces himself, beginning to list of all the troublesome women he’s had unfortunately find himself encountering several times in his head. There’s Temari, Ino — even mom — though he supposes Hinata isn’t so bad. Yeah. He likes Hinata. She’s quiet and doesn’t make him regret anything that comes out of his mouth too much.

Sakura is suddenly quiet, eerily quiet in the way that a woman who is loud as she is shouldn’t be, which has forced Shikamaru to open one eye before he comes forward and poke her arm. “Oi. Sakura. Go home.”

“Shikamaru!”

“Don’t shout. The younger deers are trying to sleep. _Aish_.” He doesn’t know why she’s here. He wants to know why she’s here. But he thinks he wants her to go home even more.

“O-oh. Oh shit. Sorry. I didn’t—I wasn’t  _think_ —”

“I know. Now calm down.”

“Shikamaru?”

He hums, acknowledging her, eyes up to the moon that she stared at minutes ago. He hears her hesitates, takes a deep breath and then, “Don’t judge me.”

He sighs. And finally asks, “Why did you come here, Sakura?”

Shikamaru considers over the fact that centuries might have passed between them before he receives the answer as Sakura struggles to give them. But he figures she should take her time, and maybe, just this once, he’s willing to wait. She seems to need the comfort. Even if it’s not in the form of physical contacts, the one Ino would’ve insisted if she’s ever incredibly depressed over something, even if it’s just a squeeze to the shoulder. No, he realises that maybe she just needs him to _be there_. And for tonight, maybe he could be the steady knight in shining armours, despite that he’s no knight nor is he clad in anything shiny.

But he can _be there_ if she needs him to.

Why not, right?

“I can’t sleep,” she finally admits and Shikamaru accepts this, stares at the moon some more. After a minute, he sighs. But it’s not because he’s tired. More like in the way to tell her that he’s concluded something and he’s ready to give the verdict.

He says, “Let me take you home, Sakura.”

She lets him.

...

It's when he trudges himself across his room to get to his bedpost while shedding his shirt off from his back after the long walk to Sakura's apartment back to the Nara residence that he realises he hasn't even touched the cigarette pack all night. _Troublesome_ , he mutters to himself as he lands his face against the stiff pillow, lazy memories picking up on images of bright green eyes under the moonlight before it disperses and exhaustion wins, allowing sleep to finally overcome him.


	2. focal point

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shikamaru and Sakura talks some more.

 

 

 

> I move further than I thought I would,  
>  _But I miss you more than I thought I could_...

* * *

 

 

Nothing happened that night.

Not that either party would want anything to happen, anyway. As far as Sakura is concern, Shikamaru is a good friend and on battle, he's a good strategist — one you would definitely want to be on your side. And for Shikamaru, Sakura's a… Ino's friend. Or it starts out that way, initially. Then she's just someone he would regularly meet and secretly, occasionally, admire. For her intelligence, of course. _Look_ , it's hard finding someone that could understand his plans or anything complicated he has to say without him having to repeat himself, alright? Geesh.

So, yes. Nothing happens. They walk in relative silent. Him, keeping a few paces behind because firstly, he's shameful to admit that he's quite lazy, and not to mention _tired_ , to keep up with her strides. And second, it's … sort of better this way, he calculates. He's not that intimately close to Sakura, and he's doesn't have the heart to ruin the good camaraderie they have by making the wrong moves like, for instance, breaching into her personal space without him fully acknowledging it or whatever. So he walks a few steps behind, until that is, she shouts and asks him if he's her paid bodyguard all of a sudden.

Shikamaru's ears perk up in irritation — which he gracefully doesn't hide — before he hisses under his breath and jumps a step to stand next to her. He narrows his eyes, wonders how it's his luck that he's always stuck in misfortunate events like these. "Happy?" He murmurs through pursed lips, and sighs resignedly when she only bulks back by shrugging simply, showing the subtle smugness like — _humph! I don't care_ , when in reality, _of course. Of course you care_. Women complicates stuff like that.

Nevertheless, the walk is nice, if not tiring.

Surprisingly, Sakura doesn't talk much. Ino would've gone forever, he thinks — it's rare to caught the blond kunoichi when she's silent. Temari would probably find new insults but, he likes her laughter so that's okay he supposes. Sakura, he decides, has her moments. Maybe —peering a quick look at her — right now she's just ran out of things to scold him over. They don't talk much, when he thinks about it. But when they do, and when she's not reprimanding him of his "bad habit", it would be decent.

Shikamaru dwells on the fact that he likes talking to Sakura. She's a smart girl.

Maybe he'll teach her Shogi sometimes. It'll be good to have a partner that he could at least last more than two minutes with.

That thought halts as they near her apartment. Shikamaru sees her to her door. She hesitates, he pretends that she doesn't, and for a moment she pretends he's not there to see it. She turns to him and Shikamaru eases his heart that he's not going to fall for those sad eyes — though it's hard because he knows she's trying not to show it. She smiles. "Thank you," she says weakly and apologises for trespassing.

He waves a hand, says that maybe, "If you come by properly the next time, I'll introduce you to the deers."

She looks pleased at the idea.

"Try to get some, Sakura." He says through heavy lidded eyelids, his gaze focusing indirectly to his toes. "Sleep, I mean."

"Oh," he hears her answer and he looks up, studies her.

"You should at least try. Especially if you're going to pull another triple shift soon."

She sticks her nose up a bit. _Brat_. "You don't know that."

He tries not to sigh, "Don't I?"

"You shouldn't probably sleep so much. Ino has been going on about you gaining weight." Her eyes shift down to his body and irritation comes passing by, knocking lightly at his conscious. _Dammit Ino_. He looks fine! In fact, he thinks he's been losing them. He doesn't eat much now. And he guesses what they say about cigarettes are true. 

"Since when do you hear about mindless crap like that?"

"I'm a medic, Shikamaru. And you're my friend. I pay attention to _crap_ that's to do with your health."

"Maybe you should look after yours first," comes his snide reply, and — he thinks momentarily to himself — why is he picking up fight with this woman? Or maybe this is a ploy on her part? To keep him here, so she wouldn't meet her bed: to face the reality that she's not only exhausted, but she can't sleep those off, adding to her stress. It couldn't be, he thinks again, not when he starts this conversation. Damn him.

And then, just when he thinks she'd continue jabbing, she only sighs, already pushing onto her door more. She looks at him again, the sadness simmering behind her eyes and he contemplates sharing his growing concern about the fatigue he's seeing behind those green orbs to Ino, before she smiles wearily and reaches out, pinching his bicep lightly. "Gain some weight, you lazy ass."

He flinches but doesn't push her thumb and forefinger away.

She retrieves them.

"Don't worry," she says walking in, "I won't tell Ino."

The door shuts.

He wonders if she tries getting those sleep. He's walked too damn far for her to not to.

 

* * *

 

He sees her again four days later when Chouji was admitted to the hospital. 

Apparently a B-rank mission gone wrong (now classified to A-rank) and as a result to that, Chouji's suffered two broken ribs, one fractured hand and one large case of food poisoning. He wheezes a lot when Shikamaru visits, but otherwise, he seems delighted when Shikamaru had manage to sneak in a few snack that isn't exactly permitted since the nurse Chouji's assigned to is strict about healthy eating, considering Chouji's hourly visits to the bathroom. Not that Shikamaru and Chouji cares. But, Chouji has mentioned that the nurse is "cute" and would rather like it if he's not to be caught eating those snacks and hence, disappointing said-nurse, which is why Shikamaru ends up sticking at Chouji's ward for more hours than he'd planned, playing bodyguard.

The routine of the hospital unnerves him.

He doesn't like being around sick people much — it's just something he's never been comfortable with, ever since he's a child — and he doesn't like the primary mood hospital seems to have when you enter them. All of the nurses and doctors and medics rushing about. An elderly who looks like he should not be walking would limp down the hallway determinedly. A girl would be in a wheelchair with tubes connected to her nose.

He knows it's not their fault, probably, that they're sick. That most of them didn't choose to wear those hospital gowns and be stuck in this damned place, but he can't help himself for feeling a little ill upon seeing them.

Maybe it just reminds him too much of the probability and chances that some people can't be saved — and that irks him. Somewhere in this hospital, somebody is smiling. But that somebody might also be dying. And there's nothing anybody can do about it. The medics would say that they've tried, but it's simply couldn't be done. And that fictional thought alone makes him nearly hurl. Which wouldn't be a good thing, he thinks — since he hasn't eaten much during lunch.

(He eats _plenty_ , he tells his friends. It's just that he rather smokes than chew beef sometimes. That's okay. Nothing wrong with that.)

He coughs, turns his head and sees the familiar colour of pink. _Sakura_ , he thinks and absently reminds himself of the event those nights ago. She doesn't see him — not yet anyway — and he studies her face to see that while there's the familiar faded black mark under her eyes, she looks lively. She's laughing with a patient, watching the patient takes the medication without a trace suggesting she's bothered that he's taking his time, and seemingly to congratulate the elderly when he manages to swallow everything down.

When she turns and passes the empty cups to a passing nurse, Sakura has smiled, writes something on a chart and dismisses the nurse. She writes some more, her smile falling now and she stifles a yawn. Another patient passes by and immediately, the yawn is gone and Sakura greets them cheerfully.

Shikamary considers these images he's seeing, looks up at the ceiling and looks back down at his feet.

He walks inside to find Chouji done with the snacks and struggling to make his way to the bathroom. Chouji barely spares him a glance when Shikamaru offers to help. The large shinobi says no, Shikamary understands and announces that he sees Sakura, and wonders if Chouji's okay being left alone for a bit. The large-boned young man merely waves his friend away, shutting the bathroom door on Shikamaru's face and, immediately, the Nara heir takes it as his queue to leave before he hears noises that he'd later regret on ever hearing.

When he comes out, Sakura's gone. He walks up to a passing nurse and asks her for the direction of Sakura Haruno's office — which the nurse hasn't even hesitated on telling him where — and Shikamaru thanks her, before lazily dragging himself to the location.

Sakura's by her desk, deep in scrolls and papers when he knocks.

She looks up, and appears surprised. "Shikamaru?" She frowns, her ink stops making cursive marks against the paper and for a moment, Shikamaru is transfixed at such image. "What are you doing here?"

"Chouji's admitted. Came for a visit. Then saw you." He briefly explains, still stands by the door and feels foolish at himself. Now that he's here… what's his next move? Man, for a so-called genius, he can be such a fucking idiot sometimes. "How are you?" He asks as best as he could, attempting to sound sincere rather than bored. He wonders if mother would spat him on the back of his head for his failing intonation, or pat him on the back resignedly for his small effort. Either way, he'd be shameful.

Yoshino has been such a good mother. He could've at least been a better son and prove it.

"I'm fine. Please, come in. Have a seat." She says cautiously, continue cursively attending to the paper before putting it aside just as he's sat down. He clasps his lazy fingers on his torso and lets her scrutinise him. He wonders if she's made her conclusion as to why he's here. Maybe then he'd actually have a clue, himself.

His expression remains impassive.

"Okay." She says, finally putting her pen down. "What do you want, Nara?"

He flinches at the way she's addressing him and he feels even more foolish, like a true outsider. He brings one hand to scratch the back of his head, his mind reeling to conjure up a believable excuse. "N-nothing!" He finds himself responding, then curses at whatever part of him that's came up with this plan. He grist his teeth. "Nothing. I just — I wanted to see you… in your… I wanted to visit you. That's all. Is that such a crime?"

She laughs, snorts. "My whole medic career and never once I see you around the perimeter unless A) you're seriously injured. B) You were on duty to pick Ino up for your weekly lunch with Chouji and C) You're here to visit a wounded teammate—"

"I _am_ visiting Chouji—"

"—never once have you ever come to drop a visit. Especially to  _me_. What's up your butt, Shikamaru?"

He finds himself flinching at her choice of words, grunting. "Nothing's up my — _butt_."

She looks at him closely for a moment. He starts to wonder if this has been a good idea after all. He hates being inspected like these. Women are very troublesome. "Did Ino send you?"

"What?" Comes his surprised reply, "Why would she even do that?"

"I don't know!" She throws her hands up before thudding her forehead against her palm and pinching her temples, like she's gotten a headache at the mention of the female Yamanaka from out of nowhere. As strange as her accusation, Shikamaru lets this slide and silently inclines his head as a way to say that yes, he understands. He's gotten that too many times to his liking too. Ino has that effect on people, he supposes. "She's been trying to — well, to set me up with people. I'd wonder if she's this desperate to even send _you_."

Shikamaru pauses, thinks about leaving, then relents that he shouldn't blame Sakura. That seems like a very Ino-thing to do. "She's not." He says in retaliation, hoping it wouldn't offend anybody by saying what he said, or planning to. "I'm not. This isn't — I'm not here to — to _court_ you." Or at least he hopes it isn't. Maybe Ino's smarter than she's let on. Maybe this is apart of her plan all along.

Sakura suddenly laughs, distracting him, and shakes her head, before she carelessly picks up on a few paper balls and throws it his him. "Shikamaru, you're hopeless."

He weakly catches it, watches one falls anyway from his grasp and rolls over his laps. He smiles a little. "S'apart of my charm."

She rolls her eyes and snorts again. " _Please_."

"Hey, don't blame me if you suddenly find yourself falling for me one day," He replies back mindlessly, gripping the paper ball and watches it as its being squeezed under his strength. He hears she scoffs. 

"I'd like to see that happens." She admits. He raises an eyebrow. "I mean, no offence, sure, you're an attractive guy, Shikamaru—"

"I am?"

"—you have your perks." She agrees, shrugging. He thinks: this is one of the things he likes about Sakura. While most women tend to deny and snorts at him, because _apparently_ most women would rather stab their eye with a fork than admit he's even slightly desirable, Sakura just gives her opinion straight out. On a battle, or otherwise. If he'd ask nicely, he can count on her opinion. "But, you're not interested in me that way."

"I could be."

She scoffs once more, and pointedly chooses to look at him. "What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

He shrugs non-seriously, and finally tosses the paper ball in her nearly full dustbin. It goes in. He mentally cheers for himself, and silence seeps through.

Her shoulder, he sees, drops.

"Is this—" She sounds hesitant, before she steels whatever nerve that she's nearly lost and continues, prompting Shikamaru to level his gaze up to see her reaction properly from his head being looked the other way, "Is this about the other night? Do you want an apology?" The last one has came out more like a whisper, like a secret she'd rather not share with the world but only him and it makes him feel … weird. No. _Different_.

He never imagines he'd have any secrets with Sakura Haruno.

This makes him nervous.

"No." He says, and wonders if it's true. Maybe he does want an apology. But, honestly, he doesn't really care. If she should apologise, it's mostly because she's scared the doe around the forest. Deers are sensitive creatures. Especially the one who lives in his family's forest. They don't appreciate being scared. "I don't care. Dad doesn't know anyway. There's no reason for you to apologise."

"Then what?"

He shrugs. "Just want to make sure you're alright."

"You're being fishy."

"I'm being a _friend_." He emphasises dramatically — as dramatically as a Nara male could be — and changes the subject. "Did you sleep?"

"Is this what this is about?"

"You're not answering the question."

"Shikamaru," she lets out a heavy breath, like she's tired of this conversation already, and looks down at her papers guiltily. The tiredness that he could barely see from those scenes where she's interacting with her patience is now taking centre stage, showing him everything he needs to know without him having to prob for more. "I'm fine. I can take care of myself, y'know."

"If someone were to attack you, sure. But you know what I mean."

She shakes her head, and is silent again, frowning and chewing on her bottom lips. For a second, Shikamaru wonders if she's so deep in her thoughts she's forgotten he's there entirely. He reconsiders that maybe this is her move — to stay silent until he decides on his own to leave — and Shikamaru can't help but to think that maybe one day, he _will_ teach her Shogi after all.

He'd like to see how that'll play out, wonders if she would even agree.

"Gain some weight first," she finally speaks, a sneer dejecting from her voice as a mean to verbally harm him, probably — or harm him enough that he would want to drop this subject permanently — and Shikamaru pushes the urge to smirk. She's playing dirty. Wow. "And lose that habit of yours," she taps her mouth with two fingers then, indicating the natural smoking position, "Your lips is turning dangerously black. Once you've succeeded doing that, only _then_ we'll talk."

Shikamaru considers, sighs, stands up and leaves.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know Ino's mentioned a lot. But it's not what you think. Personally, I think Ino's just a big part of Shikamaru's life — considering he grew up with her along with Chouji — and she will continuously be a big part of Shikamaru's life. Shikamaru, in my story at least, recognises this. Hence, why she's mentioned a lot. He's a smart guy. He is in no business to deny the importance of the blonde in his life. However, while the chances of it are there, Shikamaru honestly doesn't see Ino romantically, nor does Ino, him. But of course, this is only in my way of interpreting them in this specific fanfiction, anyway. How others view them, is entirely up to everybody's respective opinions :)


	3. moving further

 

>  I'll use you as a makeshift gauge,  
>  of how much to give and how much to take...

* * *

 

It's very funny how he started to remember everything he off-handedly promises himself he would do when it's in the completely wrong moment. Or, well, maybe not _wrong_ per se but - he wouldn't be able to describe such a moment any other way.

Like, once when he's bleeding all over the place from a stab wound a medic ninja hadn't managed to heal before the enemy attacked him, Shikamaru had lamely thought back of the roses he'd always wanted to get for mother. Or tulips. Roses, Shikamaru had allowed himself to think rather boyishly (stereotypically), were rather intimate for a son to give his mother when it hadn't been at all their habits to bring one another flowers. He always promised himself he would do this, at least once, her birthday maybe, that he'd pick up a flower for mother. But he never did.

Or that one time he considered giving back a napkin Shino had once stoically held to him when he had the _worst_  sinus infection ever at age eleven, but he'd never gotten the chance. The napkin was abused rather tragically when the day wound up, and Shikamaru's parents were rather apologetic enough because he hadn't believed Shikamaru's claim at being sick in the first place to make sure they had it cleaned before they asked their only son to give it back to Shino.

Shikamaru had propped it under pile of "little clothes" he'd never much use — like socks and scarf and all those little things that bothered him because he just found no absolute use until it's freezing or he's on a _deathbed_ (which was just his way of dramatically mentioning he's sick, because, you know, he _hates_ sickness) — and kicked the drawer close, promising that when he wakes up the next day, he'll remember.

Quite clearly, he never did. He supposes Shino had just assumed that since Shikamaru was sick anyway, and that it was more likely that his napkin might never survive through the horrible week the young Nara had went through until he's nursed back to health, the bug boy didn't ask for it back. It was very considerate overall, and it's not like Shikamaru even _remembers_ it every time they talk or nod companionably at each other when they passed. So, it wasn't like the guilt was _building_ or however any mundane storytellers would like to put it.

But it's there, nevertheless. The guilt.

He'd strangely remember it when he'd sneeze for no reason whatsoever and Ino would howl up on how someone _must_ be talking about him, if he's just sneezing like that for no reason at all! Shikamaru would roll his eyes every time — ever the superstitious, this best friend of his — and tell her to knock it off. And then Shino would come to mind, and Shikamaru would remember that stupid drawer that's only in use whenever winter's made its presence.

It's weird. He remembers weird stuff during weird times.

Like, right now. 

It's been—wait, let him count: twelve? No, thirteen. No, _fifteen_ — almost two weeks since he last saw Sakura Haruno, and he doesn't feel good. Maybe it's because his fucking intestines are all jumbled up, but — _pfft_. Details. Mother's gonna yell at him later, when she hears the news of him ending up in the hospital, and Dad's gonna scold pretty hard right after this is done and over with. He'll deal with the details _then_ , he decides, knowing he has time until then.

Tch. What a drag.

He's in and out of conscience, which is a pretty dumb state to be in if anybody'd ask him (nobody ever did), and he remembers thinking lamely how Sakura's very quiet when she's treating someone — treating _him_. He doesn't know why, maybe he'd expected a cry, or a sob, or a tear rolling down her eyes as her shaky fingers weave over his broken side and she's gritting his teeth, _praying_ he'd be okay. Or maybe she'd nag. She'd do her job, her talkative instinct taking over because if it doesn't, she wouldn't believe herself she could do it, _heal him_ , and it scares her.

Well, okay. Maybe not as dramatic as all of _those_ , but you get what he means.

But she's rather quiet, and professional. There's a pinch to her expression that he has to blink three times to make sure _it's there_ : the concentration, while attentive green eyes scan over what's wrong; her skill fingers stitching what he's left open for his enemy to damage. 

It wasn't like it's anything serious. He had been ambushed, and it had been an immature fight. Didn't mean that it hadn't went a little too badly. Gladly, the client was safe. The scroll his team assembled to guard was safe. And his teammates had gone out with barely a stitch to their flesh. Fresh bruises maybe (he'd have to check later), and a cut that a bandage would cover for the next days — but overall? They're fine.

Whereas he?

Shikamaru winces, and his head lols. He's trying to spat a hand away, and for the first time since surgery began, Sakura spoke up properly. He thinks she's sort of been speaking this whole time, but not to him. This time, it's to him. He's sure of it. The annoyance is familiar when she speaks, "Shikamaru. _Stand still_."

He wants to say he's hurt, he's in pain, and don't touch him, he's going to _die_  (and he just wants to sleep) — but it comes out in these kind of grumbles that hasn't translated at all to what he wants to say. Stupid brain. Stupid failed attempt at communication. It's probably the drugs.

Man, Shikamaru _hates_ the hospital.

A hand pats him, and the nerves in the shadow ninja relaxes nearly automatically. He decides on that moment that he likes Sakura like this even better than the one he's conjured in his mind when he's coming in into the ER. This Sakura is relaxed, calm and confident. The air she carries into her work makes even the frailest man foolish enough to believe she'd be able to treat even the terminal of cases. This is different than the frantic Sakura who'd choose emotion over professionalism when she's dealing with friends on her surgical table. This Sakura, Shikamaru is willing enough to lie down and lets himself be petted. Which is weird. Coming from an adult man. Whatever.

Or maybe Shikamaru just likes being surprised. 

The weird moment where he's remembering a weird things comes a bit later, when he's opening his eyes again and his brain is failingly trying to fight the drug to piece out what's happened together. Sakura is looming over him. He'd known it was her before even his vision sharpen due to the paleness of her peculiar pink hair.

There's a mask covering his mouth, and it makes his tongue dries.

Sakura is hushing, one hand stroking the bit of the hairline that starts at one temple. Her touch, which he imagines would be firm and choleric, is gentle and friendly, and _this_ Sakura, Shikamaru tiredly blinks back, is familiar. Those hours ago when he'd been in surgery, he'd met Dr. Haruno, the professional medic healer. Now, he's merely facing a friend. Both faces who're fine to him.

He attempts at smiling back, and he guesses he looks dumb (once again: _fuck_ hospital) because Sakura's smiling brightly, like she's laughing at an inside joke, and Shikamaru is not ashamed to point out mentally how tired she looks. It's clear now. The wrinkles and dark eyes. She'd been a good doctor because she'd endured all of this exhaustion.

He feels like shit.

She cries, he thinks, when she brings one sleeve up and wipes at the corner of her smiling eyes, breathing: "Welcome back, Shikamaru." He doesn't understand why she's all sentimental all over a sudden, why is he even worth crying about, but he's not about to ask. There might be a deep psychological feeling behind the simple act, but Shikamaru's gonna chalk it up to a "women thing" and no, sir, for the last time, he'll play ignorant for as long as he may.

"Are you okay? Can you blink once for yes, twice for no?"

He's tired, and he's sleepy, but he blinks once for her, just 'cause. 

"Good. You're good. Do you know what happened?" She's doing something — rustling with something — and then he spots the mini flashlight. The one medic uses. She brings it over his eyes, but doesn't start until she says, "I'm gonna check you for a bit, okay? Gonna do it for a second. Then you'll get your rest."

He lets her do whatever she wants. He tells himself he doesn't care. He's so fucking drowsy. He sort of wants his mom.

Sakura is stroking him back at the temple calmly, and Shikamaru makes no attempt whatsoever to stop her. He's pulled back to sleepiness, he thinks, but goddamn if his 200 IQ isn't stubborn when it fights to stay awake — just make more sense of things, _just make sense_ , it almost screams! — and he opens his eyes, wide, as though in shock, to stare at her again.

She hushes, asks what's wrong. Her green eyes are so bright, and he realises, not for the first time, that Sakura's fucking brilliant.

And then he remembers it: he'd always wanted to invite her to play Shogi.

Apparently he'd say the part aloud, or is trying to, because she's asking him to repeat. He blinks, thinks to himself, _to hell with it_ and repeats. And then he tugs lamely at the oxygen tank, and she pulls it away for a bit and he tells it, finely, as best as he can — "play ... Shogi ... Shogi ... w'th me"

He doesn't remember what her answer had been, it's just that the darkness took him quite comfortably after that.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

His prediction had been correct, of course. 

He hadn't been dubbed one of the smartest kid in his generation had he been stupid, after all. And, quite frankly, people were definitely relatively working in patterns so it wasn't that hard to guess. Mother went _ballistic_ , Dad had scowled even harder than usual, Ino were the same with mother and Choji had been quieter than normal. He'd insisted on staying, and he's the only one Shikamaru agreed the request to. Despite the annoyance, their concern is flattering. Shikamaru felt — _appreciated_ — that he's... cared for, like any other people would he supposes.

He's never really highly regard himself as being anywhere near as valuable, although he understands he carries _some_ significance — but to be bluntly told that his death would've effected badly to a few people... it made him feel worth it. Like, okay. Maybe he's not that much piece of trash he thought he was.

When he quietly tells Choji this, the part where he's thankful he's not actually garbage, his best friend sighs, and chews lamely on a potato chip. "You should thank Sakura for that. For — you know — working it out that you didn't. You know." _Die_ , Choji means, and Shikamaru snorts. Assures the big boned idiot that he's not going anywhere for a while, don't worry. He plans to live 'till he's at least, like, _thirty_. And that, he'd counted, is still a long way to go.

He doesn't really know what to do with the idea of Ino sending Temari a letter informing her of his condition, so he decides to distract himself with the fact that, despite being his total saviour, he hadn't seen Sakura at all. And he's been awake for _three days_. (He spent the first fourteen hours after surgery in a mini comatose. Dad was really pissed, because it'd freaked Mom out so much.)

He asks Ino this the fifth day he's still in that damned building, the drugs becoming less of use and the pain becoming less tolerant. The itching for a smoke is also haunting him badly. He'd barely slept. 

Ino barely blinks, arranges the flowers by the window without missing a beat. "Hm?" She hums rather distractedly, flicking a petal and letting the sunshine blooms over the gorgeous hues, before jutting a hip to the side. "She's gone on a mission, I think. Or, Tsunade sent her away. I didn't really ask. I mean, I _could_ have, but then _you_ had to get your lazy ass injured!"

Shikamaru winces, and stupidly corrects her that it's his _insides_ that's injured. Not his slothful buttocks.

Ino nearly tore him in two.

At least when she's calmed enough, he's willing to let himself get away with the stupidity by reasoning that the incident would've made a good joke someday. He watches his female best friend from the corner of his eyes as she's perched on the edge of his bed, near where his knees are. Ino's grown over the years, but not nearly tall enough that her feet sorta still dangles when she sits on a hospital bed. She sighs when her ocean blue eyes catch the flowers by the window, and for a moment Shikamaru can see Sakura's tiredness in Ino's posture.

He silently wonders if Sakura's getting the sleep she needs. He knows he's going to force Choji to make sure Ino does.

"She wasn't even supposed to be at the hospital, that forehead. I mean, of course she's gonna come in anyway, but she promised Shizune that she's strictly going to hang 'round at the clinics and nothing else. Nothing heavy. She was bound to go on a mission the afternoon the next day. But you came in just when she's about to clock out. And she knew she couldn't leave you to anybody else's hands. Nobody really had the guts to fight Tsunade's apprentice when she's set her mind to something, y'know?"

Shikamaru doesn't know how to answer that — even though he'd known the answer — so he opts for silence. Ino takes it, and continues. "She's so—" and the blonde sighs, the exhaustion more obvious now. Suddenly, the female Yamanaka looks  _so thin_. "I don't know what to do with her, really. She's so goddamn stubborn. But... if she hadn't come in when she did. I mean! Not that I don't trust the other medics. If I'd been there, I'd jumped in myself, but—"

A smile, a sad one, and Ino sniffs. Damn. He really hates when Ino cries. "But I'm glad she oversaw the surgery. I'm glad she's the one who patched you up. I wouldn't have trusted you with anybody else."

"Ino—" He strangles the name from his throat, scratching on a scar right below his jaw. "Don't cry."

"I can do whatever I want, you dork!"

Shikamaru allows a soft smile and opens up his arms (reluctantly) willingly. She falls like she always does; not weakly, but strong. The kind of strong that knows she's independent enough to carry her weight on her own, but smart enough not to overload the burden. Ino's always special like that. He wouldn't have known what to do without her. He and Choji, both. There's a reason they were all best friends.

And he's glad for it.

And, maybe he doesn't confess, but — he wouldn't have trusted his broken body with anybody else besides Sakura, either.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The healing hadn't been as dreadfully long as he thought it would be. He means, it was still sort of awful, and he'd opened up his stitches like, _once_ , because he was an idiot. But otherwise, it was all nicely pleasant. He had been confined to bedrest in the hospital for a month, although he'd been allowed to stretch and walk the start of the third week he's there. Ino helped a lot, and Choji. Mom often came because she didn't have anyone to fuss over in the house besides the dust; and because mother knew he would never like hospital's food. Shikamaru had joked they'd adopted a kitten soon, and Mom can pretend it could be the daughter she'd never gotten when he was birthed instead. He got pinch because of that, while Mom told, "I will _always_ want you, my stubborn lazy boy. In a million years, in every life times."

Although, Mom had add, a little sister wouldn't be so bad.

Not wanting to explore more on the sexual expeditions of how he _might've_ gotten a sibling, mother's visits were very companionable nonetheless. A suspected-stay of two months ended up just after the fifth week was rolling over. His stitches were mostly good; Shikamaru had went through physical therapy "like a champ" and the healing they did over his scars were manageable. Shikamaru had told the doctors he hadn't mind the scar, he just wanted his insides to _work_.

The doctor asked him if he'd shat okay, and he shamelessly told them, "Sure. I shit fine."

The gave a thumbs up, and that's that. There were appointments set up for the next few months, to make sure he's really fine before he was officially signed to be back on official duty. Until then, Dad informed, all he'd had to do was rest. Which was sort of bullshit. But when Dad offered his paperworks to pass the time, Shikamaru had started whistling about how it might be good if he gave himself some time off. Dad had slapped the back of his head and laughed. Not loud nor contagious, but it made the old-with-age lines on his face disappeared, and that alone had made Shikamaru grinned.

Shikamaru still sort of have a harder time eating, because his stomach is all bunch of hurt when it's digesting, but it's working — at least it's _digesting_ — so he tries not to mull over it too much. Still, mom prepares more soup when he finally settles back in his room, and Shikamaru has never been more silently grateful. Mom's kinda amazing.

Two weeks after that, Shikamaru gets an unexpected visit from Sakura.

Of course, Mom hadn't shy away from recognising the brilliant Sakura Haruno from all of the talks around town, and, well, from the fact she sort of the one who was responsible to why her only son could shit again. The walk to see his mother embracing Sakura was hard, but not too painful, as he made his way to greet her. 

"I thought I'd check on your son," Sakura had explained when Yoshino stumbles back to wipe the tears rolling down her cheek, and Shikamaru lends a sympathetic hands on Mom's shoulder. He squeezes it, while Sakura never once waver; her professionalism as a doctor is there, but there's an ease to her presence. As though to announce: _I'm here as your son's friend, too_. This makes Shikamaru grins. A little. 

"I know he has an appointment tomorrow, but I had the time. Thought I see for myself if he's— well, if you're okay." Her last sentence has obviously drifted to acknowledge him in it, and her green eyes light up a little, like she's saying 'hi' mentally. "I can have the examination right here. So you don't need to come into the hospital tomorrow?"

Shikamaru raises an eyebrow, but more towards her face than at her sentence. Although that piques his interest too.

"Oh, that wouldn't be a bother?" Yoshino asks, all stern concern and content politeness. Sakura smiles, kindly and prettily, proceeds to shake her head no. Yoshino chirps happily, rambles about making tea before reeling back and realises that she should lead the medic to the place where he could heal her son properly. Sakura touches a skin on his elbow, tells her, "It's okay. I'll help him. Thank you, Mrs. Nara."

He's been awfully quiet throughout the exchange because, well, because he's sort of a moron. He doesn't really know what to do with the situation. "You okay?" Sakura asks when she's helping him to the room in the house, where it faces the yard to the expanses of the forest and he grunts, shrugs.

"Okay as I'll ever be, m'guess." He supposes it's his time to spew his thank, but he doesn't know why he doesn't. Maybe he trusts himself that he'll say it sooner or later. 

"Haven't been gaining weight, I see." She observes as she watches him plops himself down and he grunts some more, out of habit than it is out of annoyance. 

"Tch." He replies, realises a hair out of place from his headband and begins to disentangle it. The black curtain of his mane falls all over his eyes, and he could feel that Sakura's staring. He ties them all back up, clean and easy. He's been doing it since he's four. "Don't really got the chance when eating feels like swallowing bricks, y'know."

"Dramatic asshole," she rolls her eyes and he, surprisingly, smirks.

He sheds his shirt, lies down and lets the examination starts. Sakura is more doctor then when her chakra flows rather than she is a friend, so Shikamaru does his part as the dutiful patient and shuts up. He answers her question like a good little soldier boy, and she answers his when he asks about when he would be able to start training — for real. Not the little exercises. The ones that would've had him shed some actual sweat.

Sakura leaves fingers above his abdomen that's a little too close to his navel before his mind could reasonably process, and she honestly replies, "Well, usually these kind of recoveries would take months. But you've got herbs here, Shikamaru. _Nara_ herbs. I'd suggest you go through old family recipes and use some. And I've seen you've got good healers working on you while I'm gone. A month, I'd say, if you're being extra careful. And by the next, you'll be running with kunais again."

He's breathing a little hard, mind switching from the time he had to stay at home to the fingers that's sort of hovering over his skin. His face feels a little hot. Sakura, Shikamaru notices, _doesn't_  notice.

He grasps her fingers suddenly, and she gasps. Blinks. She must've been deep in thoughts. Thinking of—of a patient. She wonders if it's him. Why would it suddenly matter if she thinks about him? Fucking stupid hormonal urges. "Thanks," he says a little huskily when he brings the hand to his chest, to where his heart thumps, his eyes frowning at her to make sure _she sees him_. Not like that, but his sincerity. Temari has mentioned once how he's shit at that. Being Not An Asshole Enough to let people know sometimes he's not a dick.

Ah, Temari.

Okay, now he's all better. Shikamaru lets go of her hand with a mumbled apology. But Sakura looks serene, and she's smiling. Soft, kind. And then, he realises nearly dreadfully: she's tired. He hadn't even _once_ asked what happened to her, and how was she since he last saw her. Kami, okay now he understands why people insists he's a major douchelord sometimes.

He's about to, when Yoshino comes in bearing teas. Sakura looks relaxed while Shikamaru acts as though his mother had found him pounding the next door housewife. Which would be stupid. Because if the injuries hadn't killed him, Dad _certainly_ would.

Ever the mother, Yoshino asks all of the right questions to how Shikamaru is, and Sakura, ever the healer, answers like she's been trained since a babe to smooth down on a parent's worry. Shikamaru is impressed, and Sakura gives him his shirt back as she prescribes medications, treatments and exercises as well as asking about the Nara herbs.

When mother finally leaves, Sakura is sipping quietly on her tea and the male Nara is at loss at what to do. Until—

"Shogi."

"What?" Asks Shikamaru bluntly, confused.

"You said you'd teach me to play Shogi."

His mind goes blank, and in between he sees a flash of pink hair hovering. A stroke to his temple. Sakura suddenly laughs, but it's small and a little pathetic, like a poor reflection of the girl he caught about two months ago near his family's forest, and shrugs a shoulder. She waves a hand. "It's okay. You don't remember. I just — it's stupid. Never mind. I'll leave in a bit okay, Shikamaru?"

"No." He answers quickly because everybody knows she's not stupid, and — she doesn't have to leave so soon. It's okay. He doesn't mind her here. Mom, _too_ , certainly doesn't. "No. I mean. Actually — yeah — I didn't remember asking, but... I had meant to. For a while. Do you know how? To play, that is?"

She blinks at him wolfishly, like she hadn't truly expect this reaction and it made Shikamaru shy. Which is dumb. He scratched on his cheek habitually, and she tilts her head a degree to the side. She's a little expressive like that. He likes it.

"No," she answers after what seems like a long time, and Shikamaru sighs. 

"I'll teach you."

She smiles.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Later, he swipes a thumb down her right eye, and frowns at the make up building at the edge of his nail. "You're wearing concealer," He deduces, "You're not sleeping enough, are you?"

"Is that _worry_ in your tone, Nara?"

He feels a little small, but he refuses to deny nor agree with the truth. He knows she knows the answer anyway. He keeps quiet, and she pinches a part of his arm, causing him to yelp. He narrows his eyes at her. She smiles, a little. Always tired.

"Skinny," she comments, and after that, she keeps quiet too.

 

 

 


	4. makeshift gauge

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for more shikasakus fans, do check out lapiz sagana's "my toes, my knees, my shoulders, my head" and its sequel "fingers around my toes" because it's superbly brilliant. i would recommend it 150%.

 

> _Talk some sense to me_

* * *

 

The evening is long, and Shikamaru is tired.

But not tired enough to reign victory when he moves a piece and watches as Sakura's face falls rather animatedly at her obvious loss. Maybe he shouldn't be grinning so much — or whatever facial expression he thinks he's showing because Ino has told him countless of times before that  _he never really smiles_ , whatever the hell that means — but seeing how big her eyes get and how rapid the colour on her face change? The more important question is, how can one not.

In any case, it's been a couple of weeks since he first began teaching Sakura shogi. Expectedly, it didn't take too long for Shikamaru to explain and demonstrate for the pink-haired kunoichi to immediately grasp, but it  _had_ taken some time for Sakura to finally find her rhythm and saw through his strategies and — _finally_ — were able to hold a match with him for far more five minutes. Which is, needless to say, impressive.

Shikamaru feels alive.

Cheesy, he knows. But considering his delicate situation of having his internal organs violated, he gathers he can do a lot worse.

Sakura is really animated, he discovers. Perhaps it's an easy observation made even from the beginning or if you're an outsider, but simply stating them is an understatement. Sakura is _animated_ , but not only with her movements and change of expressions — her body, too. Or the way her brows quirk. Or her lips twitch. Or a finger taps. Everything about her is vibrant. There is always something that're going on, Shikamaru thinks. It's like looking at some sort of a live performance. Absolutely hates going to them (too many crowds, too flimsy of an act to be entertained by), but he can rather admit that it's attractive enough to have him glued till the last curtain falls.

And that's Sakura.

Or maybe that's just him being bored while waiting for her to take a move and decided to be... _a creep_.

Sighs. No wonder mother still nags at him. How could she raise such an embarrassing child? Shikamaru now regrets more than ever on how Dad and Mother hadn't tried conceiving another heir (or heiress, he isn't picky) — no matter how odd the sentence strikes him — because it would've at least, he convinces, lift some burden of expectations from his shoulders. Not that he's willing to make that complaint aloud. Shikaku had been the only child, and he's exceeded every prospect of inheritance grandfather and the rest of the Nara elders projects on him.

To complain would be to shame, he's aware.

Still.

Sakura is speaking to herself now, mouth moving in a constant murmur as she goes through back all of the tactics and moves he's used to identify where she has went wrong. Or where indeed, she can improve. Perhaps he's exhausted, but seeing her like this, a shogi board across from him, with her brows furrowed and her slim, saviour of fingers clutching onto the pieces like they're clues to a puzzle she's been dying to solve, she's — kind of adorable.

Shikamaru has _no idea_ , of course, how much of him saying that actually means anything to other people, but his (second) medic friend certainly has her charms that few men can deny. This, he's sure of.

He has an inkling now, on why Ino persists for Sakura to date.

"Shikamaru, you _bastard_." Sakura concludes in the end, earning herself a tilt of the corner of his lips as a small smirk, and sighs - her arms behind her back stretched to allow her weight to fall into it while she cocks her head upwards and closes her eyes. He wastes no time into reading her tired pose as a cue for him to lie flat on his back. It's one of his requirements to have his intestines heal faster: that he gives it a lot of rest without moving too persistently. Which is a chore, considering spending time not doing anything means he has more excuses to sleep. And more excuses to dozes off means less attempt at working out.

Shikamaru is sure that once official training starts his muscle will be sore quite terribly. How troublesome.

"Are you joining for dinner, again?" Above them, the wind chimes from when grandmother — if Shikamaru is correct — has given them at his birth make beautiful twinkling sound. He wonders how well-maintained, suddenly, that piece of woods and strings must be. Maybe dad cleans them every few years. Shikamaru wonders why he hasn't taken notice. "Mother will be expecting."

When he turns his head to the side, Sakura too, it seems, has given up on sitting and were lying down. Her pink hair is sprawled under her. He wonders exactly what she's been doing for the past few days, if she's slept, or if Ino's been nagging at her to take some rest or to go home early. It's none of his business to intervene or to prod, but having seen Sakura at least few days out of seven in a week has make him suspicious. He can't get the image of Sakura under the moonlight in the Nara forest out of his mind.

The grip where his fingers are clasped on the top of his stomach suddenly tightens.

Shikamaru awaits her answer.

"Your mother is too kind," Sakura admits after a few seconds, both of her hands coming up to press against the balls of her closed eyelids. She looks frustrated. Shikamaru is uncomfortable, but merely due to the fact that it seems anything he can think of offering might not be the best thing one could say in this moment. He hates being called a genius sometimes. At moments like these, he feels anything but. "I've been hitching dinner at your place a couple of times now, haven't I?"

He shrugs. He finds no problem in it. Mother seems to enjoy the extra company. Having dad working out late more often than not means mother mostly spends the evening when they have dinner with him alone. Though mom still waits for dad every night. That's nice, right? Women are often difficult and stubborn creatures (except for Hinata) but their diligence aren't always bad.

"Mother likes you." Is all Shikamaru offers, being truthful, despite the fact if he rethinks about it, the situation  _is_ pretty odd. Sakura's somewhat his official medic, who gives him home-visits to both check on his progress and spend what's left of the evening playing Shogi and ending the day with a dinner with mother and himself. Not all medical nins do that, don't they? "Are you tired?"

At this, Sakura snorts. It's an ugly sound. "When am I not?"

 _True_ , he doesn't answer.

* * *

 

Having dinner with Sakura isn't all bad, he thinks.

For one, it's true that mother enjoys the company immensely. She would often go to the market now bearing the thought of buying extra ingredients in the case of Sakura coming over. And some days when she does, she would often join mother into dicing the vegetables or stir the pot. Sakura, surprisingly, isn't very a good cook — or so she says. In a conversation with mother, she admits that all of her life has always been her dedicating it to fulfilling her role as a shinobi. Her civilian mother, having respecting her daughter's decision, doesn't typically press for her role as much in the kitchen. Her father, too.

She admits now how it's a shame. It would've been nice to have known how to cook. There's nothing better than a home-cooked meal.

Mother wipes her tear and tells Sakura that it's fine for her to stay over sometimes for Yoshino to give lessons. They'll start slow. No pressure. Shikamaru usually doesn't intrude on these moments, unless it's close to their dinner time and he decides being a brat just to insist when they will be finish is reasonable. Mother would usually threatened him with a spatula for being an impatient son, before Sakura ushers him to set the table and, smiling brightly, "We'll be ready before you know it."

Secondly, while it should be odd to have your surgeon with you at your house like it's some sort of an unspoken daily routine, it does help whenever Shikamaru has a hard time swallowing or his stomach feels funny.

One time when he feels a burning sensation, Sakura is quick to react and have him lied down while she goes over where his abdomen has been hurting. He has his head propped on pillow from when mother was quick to gather them, and Sakura kneeling by his side to examine with her fingers emitting a blinding glow. 

"What?" She asks when, he thinks, she sees how he's been looking at her, smirking.

He shrugs, hands going up to splay itself under his head as a support, and Shikamaru tries not to release such a heavenly sigh when the pain ebbs away at her successful administration of treating him. Sometimes he can't help but to think that Sakura is a god-sent. She's just _so good_ at what she does. Ino was right. He was lucky to have her overseeing his treatment. "I think I like being treated over."

She rolls her eyes, but there's a laughter that escapes her mouth. For a moment, she truly looks young. Any traces of her exhaustion disappears in the light of her amusement. She laughs like this too, he observes, whenever she takes down one of his pieces or figures out a way to slow down his winning during Shogi. She's brilliant. "You're such an _ass_."

"Tch." And yet, he's grinning. "You wouldn't like me any other way."

"Maybe," she hums, but she doesn't disagree.

Thirdly, Sakura having dinner would've at least confirmed to Shikamaru that she'll be eating decently, and that she's retiring too, at appropriate hours.

"I can walk you home," Is the usual argument he would start every time Sakura finally excuses herself when she can no longer pretend she isn't yawning. And every time, the answer she gives is the same. Mother have stopped trying to win either side the first time she's been pulled into this conversation. Nowadays, she gives Sakura no more than a soft squeeze to the hand or a sweet peck to the cheek, before thanking her and retrieving back to the kitchen.

"You need to rest, you lazy bum." 

"A walk isn't going to kill me."

"I can take care of myself."

Shikamaru finds it hard to argue against that — _stubborn woman_ — so he usually loses in the end. Which is fine. Whatever. At least he still tried offering his services to accompany her home. He's not _hundred-percent_ a hopeless bastard. Maybe just seventy-five. Which is far more than he can say.

"You consume more beef than fish or chicken, Shikamaru. Do you realise this?"

He doesn't, and she grins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm aware that sakura's parents are supposed to be shinobis. but for this fanfiction, i'm discarding that canon and adopting the idea that both of them — and an older brother i think — are civillians. i'm thinking instead of making sakura's grandfather as shinobi, which was how the haruno has accesses into registering sakura as a shinobi. maybe. or whatever. 
> 
> in any case, i regret to inform that in the span of my absence from writing this fiction, my writing may have changed. i'm finding the rhythm to get back to where shikamaru's thoughts have been left off from, but i don't think i can achieve how i've voiced him before 100%. which is why this chapter is unexpectedly shorter than what i plan cause like, idk how my narration can still flow as nicely as it was. thank you all still for those who are still reading.
> 
> do expect more of sakura + shikamaru taking care of each other in the future.


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